Parasha Drash
Parashat Ki Tisa
Jan
In our Parasha this week, we have not one but two very dramatic events which are extremely telling about our humanity and our Creator. One brings us down to the depths of corruption and the other elevates us back to being the reflection of HaShem.
I am talking of course of :
- The story of the Golden Calf and
- When Moshe asked to see the glory of HaShem and was hid in the cleft of the rock while He proclaimed His name.
But if we reflect on both events they seem to be motivated by similar emotions!
The first time I read the story of the Golden Calf I couldn’t believe what they did only 40 days after having received the Torah, seen the smoking mountain, heard the heavenly shofars, stood and felt the ground shake, agreed to “do and hear” what Adonai had said and been sprinkled with the blood of the covenant. What other god has ever manifested himself like that, cutting a covenant with His people? I kept thinking, how could they so easily betray our G-d? But today, as I am older, a descendant of Shoah survivors, laying in my bed in pain with a shattered ankle, I think I can see how this could be done. As it says in the text, “this Moshe that brought us from Egypt, we do not know what became of Him” This statement exposes 2 things:
- They believed wrongly still (!) that it was Moshe who brought them out of Egypt and were putting their faith in Him rather than G-d!
- They felt terribly scared and abandoned by him. And that fear of abandonment was SO STRONG they were compelled to make up their own gods at least to have the illusion they had some power on their side, like the rest of the world does!!!
Big Mistake,
But one we can easily make in times when what we supposedly believe in seems to have disappeared! The fear of abandonment I was once told is the root of all anxiety! And so it led them to debase themselves in a very corrupted image of who they were meant to be!
On the other hand, the story of Moshe requesting to see the glory of HaShem happens in the context of his arguing with Adonai Ex33: 12-18
וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה אֶל־יְהֹוָה רְאֵה אַתָּה אֹמֵר אֵלַי הַעַל אֶת־הָעָם הַזֶּה וְאַתָּה לֹא הוֹדַעְתַּנִי אֵת אֲשֶׁר־תִּשְׁלַח עִמִּי וְאַתָּה אָמַרְתָּ יְדַעְתִּיךָ בְשֵׁם וְגַם־מָצָאתָ חֵן בְּעֵינָי׃
וְעַתָּה אִם־נָא מָצָאתִי חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ הוֹדִעֵנִי נָא אֶת־דְּרָכֶךָ וְאֵדָעֲךָ לְמַעַן אֶמְצָא־חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ וּרְאֵה כִּי עַמְּךָ הַגּוֹי הַזֶּה׃
וַיֹּאמַר פָּנַי יֵלֵכוּ וַהֲנִחֹתִי לָךְ׃
וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו אִם־אֵין פָּנֶיךָ הֹלְכִים אַל־תַּעֲלֵנוּ מִזֶּה׃
וּבַמֶּה יִוָּדַע אֵפוֹא כִּי־מָצָאתִי חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ אֲנִי וְעַמֶּךָ הֲלוֹא בְּלֶכְתְּךָ עִמָּנוּ וְנִפְלֵינוּ אֲנִי וְעַמְּךָ מִכָּל־הָעָם אֲשֶׁר עַל־פְּנֵי הָאֲדָמָה׃
וַיֹּאמֶר יְהֹוָה אֶל־מֹשֶׁה גַּם אֶת־הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר דִּבַּרְתָּ אֶעֱשֶׂה כִּי־מָצָאתָ חֵן בְּעֵינַי וָאֵדָעֲךָ בְּשֵׁם׃
וַיֹּאמַר הַרְאֵנִי נָא אֶת־כְּבֹדֶךָ׃
Moshe said to Hashem, “See, You say to me, ‘Lead this people forward,’ but You have not made known to me whom You will send with me. Further, You have said, ‘I have singled you out by name, and you have, indeed, gained My favor.’
Now, if I have truly gained Your favor, pray let me know Your ways, that I may know You and continue in Your favor. Consider, too, that this nation is Your people.”
And He said, “I will go in the lead and will lighten your burden.”
And he said to Him, “Unless You go in the lead, do not make us leave this place.
For how shall it be known that Your people have gained Your favor unless You go with us, so that we may be distinguished, Your people and I, from every people on the face of the earth?”
And Hashem said to Moshe, “I will also do this thing that you have asked; for you have truly gained My favor and I have singled you out by name.”
He said, “Oh, let me behold Your Glory!”
Again this discussion exposes 2 things:
- Clearly Moshe believed that he was not the one leading Israel out of Egypt, but Hashem was the one doing it through him!
- And he also knew that he could not do this on his own and was so terrified that if G-d’s presence would not go with him, he would rather not go!!
And so that same fear of abandonment was also SO STRONG that it compelled him to want to know G-d more, instead of making his own fake god to be comforted by! And this led him to request seeing the Glory of HaShem. He came down off the mountain elevated, shining, reflecting His glory as he is created to be a reflection of the Living G-d!!! So much so that he had to wear a veil! And today much of our liturgy is based on this encounter he had with HaShem!
In conclusion, I would like to say as I lay here on my bed, the choice is also mine to cry out or not “where was G-d when I fell?” or “why me?” or “why so much pain” (and it’s only a drop in the bucket of the universe’s pain!) “Why has Adonai allowed this?” And in these difficult days of uncertainty we could easily all ask these questions. As for me I would rather put my faith in Adonai than in man as He is the one able to carry us to the end of our journey here in the promised land, and cling to Him who has promised He will never forsake us.
As it says in Isaiah 50:10 – 51:3
מִי בָכֶם יְרֵא יְהֹוָה שֹׁמֵעַ בְּקוֹל עַבְדּוֹ אֲשֶׁר הָלַךְ חֲשֵׁכִים וְאֵין נֹגַהּ לוֹ יִבְטַח בְּשֵׁם יְהֹוָה וְיִשָּׁעֵן בֵּאלֹהָיו׃
הֵן כֻּלְּכֶם קֹדְחֵי אֵשׁ מְאַזְּרֵי זִיקוֹת לְכוּ בְּאוּר אֶשְׁכֶם וּבְזִיקוֹת בִּעַרְתֶּם מִיָּדִי הָיְתָה־זֹּאת לָכֶם לְמַעֲצֵבָה תִּשְׁכָּבוּן׃
שִׁמְעוּ אֵלַי רֹדְפֵי צֶדֶק מְבַקְשֵׁי יְהֹוָה הַבִּיטוּ אֶל־צוּר חֻצַּבְתֶּם וְאֶל־מַקֶּבֶת בּוֹר נֻקַּרְתֶּם׃
הַבִּיטוּ אֶל־אַבְרָהָם אֲבִיכֶם וְאֶל־שָׂרָה תְּחוֹלֶלְכֶם כִּי־אֶחָד קְרָאתִיו וַאֲבָרְכֵהוּ וְאַרְבֵּהוּ׃
כִּי־נִחַם יְהֹוָה צִיּוֹן נִחַם כָּל־חָרְבֹתֶיהָ וַיָּשֶׂם מִדְבָּרָהּ כְּעֵדֶן וְעַרְבָתָהּ כְּגַן־יְהֹוָה שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה יִמָּצֵא בָהּ תּוֹדָה וְקוֹל זִמְרָה׃
Who among you reveres Hashem And heeds the voice of His servant?— Though he walk in darkness And have no light, Let him trust in the name of Hashem And rely upon his God.
But you are all kindlers of fire, Girding on firebrands. Walk by the blaze of your fire, By the brands that you have lit! This has come to you from My hand: You shall lie down in pain.
Listen to Me, you who pursue justice, You who seek Hashem: Look to the rock you were hewn from, To the quarry you were dug from.
Look back to Avraham your father And to Sara who brought you forth. For he was only one when I called him, But I blessed him and made him many.
Truly Hashem has comforted Tzion, Comforted all her ruins; He has made her wilderness like Eden, Her desert like the Garden of Hashem. Gladness and joy shall abide there, Thanksgiving and the sound of music.
Shabbat Shalom Lekulam
